My thoughts this week are about giving grace.
It’s not a typical work topic, but it came to mind after a few recent situations where people made mistakes—saying or doing things that were either objectively inappropriate or simply perceived as offensive. The specifics don’t matter – these are the kinds of moments that can happen to anyone.
I have made plenty of mistakes. Indeed, I have a long history of engaging my mouth well before my brain. I also wear my heart on my sleeve and thus have found myself as the offending party more often than I’d like to admit. I am not alone. In today’s asynchronous communications environment, the opportunities for emails, Slack, Teams, or text messages to land far differently than intended are everywhere. They also happen more often when we’re under stress. Like now…with war raging in the Middle East and our farmers feeling the double burden of skyrocketing diesel and fertilizer costs with low prices for their crops. Unfortunately, in the world of social media, we are increasingly being trained to respond quickly with victimhood and outrage.
Instead of outrage, on this eve of Good Friday, I would suggest something radical…grace.
“Giving grace” is the act of forgiving someone who has wronged you, unconditionally. If you realize you’ve offended someone, you should apologize—full stop. But giving grace is for the person on the receiving end of the wrong. It doesn’t mean the action wasn’t wrong or didn’t hurt. It means choosing to move past it and forgive, whether or not an apology comes, and whether or not it feels deserved.
Why does grace matter at work?
First, because everyone makes mistakes. It’s obvious, but worth repeating: to err is human. We do it at home and we do it at work.
Second, because a healthy work culture is a place where people can “rumble”—a term from Brené Brown that I love. “Rumbling” means engaging in open, honest disagreement. It’s more constructive—and less threatening—than “fighting.”
The goal is to rumble about the right things. What conflict experts like Karen Etta Jennings call “task conflict”—debate over ideas and opinions, not people or personalities.
Why does that matter? Because healthy conflict makes teams stronger. It helps teams become idea-rich. No one is as smart as all of us. Better ideas win. When people have a voice, they take ownership. And ownership drives accountability and results.
But there’s a tradeoff – when you encourage real debate, people will occasionally cross the line. Things get heated, people get passionate,and occasionally it gets loud and personal.
So what do you do if you’re the one who’s been wronged?
Ideally, the person who caused the offense recognizes it and apologizes. That’s always the best outcome. I try to do that myself—often.
But what if they don’t?
My suggestion is simple: have some grace.
As it says in Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Have grace for your customers. Many are under more stress than they’ve faced in years, and sometimes that comes out in ways that feel personal.
Have grace for your teammates. We’re in the agricultural business. It’s spring. The hours are long, and the weekends are short. People get grumpy.
Have grace for those who may have taken offense at something you said, even if your intent was good. They may be seeing it through a different lens.
Have grace for yourself. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to have moments of weakness. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Here’s the key: giving grace is not letting someone off the hook. It doesn’t mean the behavior was acceptable, or that it should be ignored. Wrong is still wrong.
To be clear, I’m not advocating for tolerating inappropriate behavior. We don’t at GreenPoint. Our rule is simple, “No jerks.” There’s no place for them in business.
Giving grace allows you to do both. If something crosses the line, you should say something. Get help if needed. Make sure the issue is addressed and doesn’t continue. But at the same time, you can choose to give grace—to let go of the personal weight of it and move forward.
That’s where the real power is.
Giving grace is ultimately about you. It shifts you from feeling like a victim to taking control. It allows you to choose your response and move forward, rather than staying stuck.
So get out there and rumble! I’m glad we are. I’m glad people care enough—and trust each other enough—to debate, disagree, and push for better outcomes. I’m not glad that some people have made mistakes, but they happen. My hope is that when it happens—to you in the office, in the grocery store, or online—you have the grace to forgive and move forward.
As Marcus Aurelius said, “The best revenge is not to be like that.”
Happy Easter to all those who celebrate.
Onward!
Jeff
